Intense anger
It was around 14:25 in the afternoon and I was supposed to write something based on my schedule. Then my mom called, asking me to book her flight together with my cousins. While I was booking their flights, the website kept crashing. The credit card wouldn’t verify the payment, the internet would suddenly disconnect and it took me at least an hour of trial and error. I still couldn’t access. Then, I snapped.
The monster in me awakened and I couldn’t control it. Strong and hateful words flow through my mouth like flames firing up. My head felt like having an explosion. My hands felt like they would want to smash something. And they did. Without control, my hands smashed repetitively through these delicate keyboards. I had no control of what I was doing. My mind was clouded with anger and hate. I just had to release it. I was in the verge of anger when the laptop turned off. It had enough of my smashes. For a moment I felt ashamed of what I have done and fear because my laptop might broke. On the other hand, when my laptop opened, I felt relieved because that certain anger was released and at the same time my laptop was still okay. There are few instances where this particular situation happens, as much as possible I try my very best to control it.
In my opinion, ever since I was young I would admittedly tell you controlling anger is certainly my weakness. I wouldn’t elaborate much, but to give you an idea on how I was before when I got mad I literally throw things outside the window or in my room, it’s good to know I don’t do this anymore. I have been battling it for quite a few years now. Although I cannot say I am immune to this flaw, but at least I’ve manage to be aware of myself and as much as possible avoid situations like the laptop incident.
Is it just me or do some people also feel this? No matter how I manage to look through so may tips and tricks on how to control my anger somehow it doesn’t work. I’d often see the classic example of counting 1-10 or more and yet whenever I do so I would even get angrier. In this post, I would be sharing with you some of the things I often do which may or may not work for you.
1. I don’t count.
Counting only makes me angrier. I don’t see the purpose of how you can release an emotion through counting. I guess they would say it would give you more focus and clear mind, but it doesn’t work for me.
2. Voice it out.
Sometimes when I get angry alone, I release it through words, I shout, I curse which is better than physically hurting someone or something. The maid might find it weird when I talk and get angry at myself, but hey please don’t judge me.
3. I rant it with my friends.
Since Facebook and other forms of Social Media are readily available 24/7, when something would pissed me off I would chat with my friends and just tell them why I’m pissed and I just need to rant. It would be a good form of therapy when you get different perspectives from different people and you’d realize how petty some of the situations are. Or better yet, rant it to twitter, nobody would care because they also do it. I use my twitter as a form of release for my emotions.
4. Write it down.
When I had a complicated conflicting drama with my “ex” (If we were really together), I wrote a letter to him in a yellow pad how I felt and solemnly swear that I wouldn’t “get back”with him, of course I didn’t send the letter, I just kept it for myself.
5. Don’t create a hateful aura for everyone and blame/involve other people.
When people have a bad day and get angry, sometimes they unintentionally get pissed with people around them, it maybe strangers who happen to sit next to you or your loved ones who happens to be there in the situation with you. In cases like these, what I would do is just close my eyes, try to regain my senses and think of the consequences of my actions. I would imagine how people who had a good day would be affected by your mood can be pretty selfish.
6. Flipped your own mindset/ thinking and shift it to self-pride.
Whenever random strangers would pissed me off whenever I’m in the car or commuting to school, I would change my mindset and understand them. I would tell myself that I wouldn’t go down to their level since I’m quite knowledgeable and I know the rules to these types of situation.
7. Cry.
When it’s too much I cry and release the cluttered emotions. When you’ve experienced a really messy break up, I suggest you cry, reflect, release (or whatever you need to do) for 2-3 days and get over it. When you release all the negative emotions you’ll start to regain your senses and you would think that you’re better than this. Never deny because it would hurt more if you kept it inside,
8. When all else fail. Pray or join an intervention whether volunteering or helping others.
I would always believe the power of spiritual healing and guidance. When you find peace through prayers, you find peace with yourself. When you help others you would realize how lucky and fortunate you are. Some people may have bigger problems than you, yet they managed to give thanks and make it through the day.
So there, I hope somehow this article will enlightened some in my situation anger can be a pesky flaw. I give applause for people who are in the deepest complicated situation and yet manage to be so calm and collected. I honestly don’t know how they do it.
Cheers,
Cakes&Spaces
cakes.spaces 